


Testing a Notion

by RunaLiore



Category: Steerswoman Series - Rosemary Kirstein
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Kissing, Thoroughly Resolved Romantic Tension, idle empirical chatter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-18 22:16:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7332862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RunaLiore/pseuds/RunaLiore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“And you wouldn’t want to know?”<br/>Those were the words that started this whole mess and Bel almost cursed the moment she heard them. Almost.</p><p>Set at a point after the first book in the series, as Bel and Rowan are traveling toward the outskirts. Bel and Rowan set up camp for the night and discuss whether information can be inherently dangerous which somehow leads to, well, everything in the tags.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Testing a Notion

Dusk had yet to settle and the outskirts were still days and hours down the road. The Western Guidestar was shining through the boughs of the pine forest where Bel and Rowan were settling in around a low campfire. The morning rain left almost every surface damp and forced them to sit on wet leaves and soggy moss. The only dry surface around, and likely in the entire forest, was a flat boulder reserved entirely for Rowan’s maps.

Once Bel had the fire burning hot enough for damp tinder to catch, she settled back to join Rowan over her charts. In plotting their route for the next ten days, a vague segment of the map caught Rowan’s notice and her charcoal hovered over the parchment. Bel saw the questions stirring in the steerswoman’s eyes and she wasn’t pleased – with the questions, not Rowan’s eyes. There was hardly anything unpleasing about her eyes.

“No, it’s out of the question,” Bel said, glancing to the gap in Rowan’s charts, “If we change course to fill out your map there it’ll put us a half day behind which will turn into a full day if we’re caught in the weather again.”

Rowan set her hand down and continued drawing their route. “Yes, but we’ll have to stop by on the way back. We don’t have that area recorded properly even on the maps in the Archives.”

“And do you need it recorded?” Bel asked, “It’s a ravine at the edge of a desert far from any road. I understand why it’s useful to have accurate maps of the places humans might travel but what situation would call for a chart of a barren pit?”

“Perhaps none,” Rowan said, “or it may be useful to us in understanding how exactly ravines and mountains form over time. In any event, while it may not be immediately useful it can’t hurt to know what’s out there for certain.”

The fire crackled and popped as a bundle of green pine needles fell onto the embers. There was something tugging at Bel’s thoughts, a mix of dread and logic that insisted she speak against her better judgment. Rowan was a steerswoman, after all, and Bel wasn’t counting on a favorable response.

“Do you really have learn the truth just because it’s there?”

“It’s what we do, Bel.” Rowan laughed and pushed a knotted lock of her curls back behind her ear. “If our information is incomplete than our understanding may be incomplete. If it’s truly an isolated ravine then we might find something unique there as well. There could be a new variety of plant we could process for medicine. ”

Bel scoffed. “There could also be a Wizard living there with a hundred basilisks.”

“And you wouldn’t want to know?” Rowan looked up from her charts, her eyes fixed on Bel’s and the fire bright on her face, “If there was something there that went entirely beyond your experience?”

“Not always. I agree with you to a point, but I’m starting to think there are things that might be dangerous to know.”

“Like the stones?” Rowan said, “Or a wizard’s secret? You may be right, but in that case it’s only dangerous because I caught the wizards’ attention. If they were unaware, there would’ve been no danger.”

“That’s not what I mean.” Bel glared back for just a moment before she returned to the fire. Her brow sat low and her voice fell flat when she spoke again.

“There are some things that can hurt people,” She said, “Just by knowing them, even if no one else was ever aware that you knew.”

Rowan was quiet for a moment, and then, “Do you mean by the change in their behavior?”

“It could, but even if it made no change at all, it could still be dangerous. I’ve seen it before.” Bel threw another branch onto the fire and paused with a word on the edge of her lips.

“An example, then?” Rowan asked and waited, but Bel didn’t answer. After another breath, she said that she needed time to think of a good one and then she went back to stoking the fire. Now that she had a question before her, however, Rowan wasn’t going to wait. She began by breaking down the conditions of Bel’s claim and testing them against her memory.

In the usual course of things, knowledge is only harmful if it draws the attention of an external force or if it compels you to hazardous action. Phrased in the terms of warfare, the information would have to either move an adversary to harm you or convince you to move in a way that would be harmful. For Bel’s claim to be true, both of those scenarios had to be ruled out as a matter of course. The information, then, would have to be something which caused the bearer distress or danger passively, simply by entering their thoughts. At first Rowan considered the possibility of a traumatic discovery or revelation. Certainly something that shattered someone’s understanding of the working order of the world could cause distress – she had felt it herself when she realized that she would have to leave the order, even if it was only for a short time. In some situations, then, she could see how a similarly traumatic discovery could bring someone harm, even if they acted no differently because of it and no one else ever became aware. Confident that she had a grasp on the theory, Rowan moved to speak just as Bel gave her answer.

“For example, if someone wanted to kiss you,” Bel said, her face turned further away than before, “that itself could be something dangerous to know.”

“That…” Rowan blinked, “That isn’t the sort of thing I was expecting. I’m not sure I follow you.”

“Alright then, say that I wanted to kiss you,” Bel turned back to face Rowan and met her at the edge of her charts, “If you were to learn that while I was still oblivious, it would change the way you think of me even if it doesn’t change the way you act. It would change the meaning of the things I said and did, even things in the past if you knew it started a while back. Now, if it was the other way around and I was to realize that I wanted to kiss you, and you were unaware…” Bel paused, her voice swaying as if it were teetering over a hill before finally stepping back.

“No, that’s a bad example,” She said, “I’ll find another.”

Rowan laughed, but she wasn’t done with the question. “No, let’s follow that example out to its conclusion. The ideas I had were all about terror or despair, I’d like to hear the rest of this scenario. As I see it, that isn’t so much a matter of the information as it is of uncertainty.”

As it often happened, Bel found herself drawn to Rowan’s curiosity.

“Uncertainty of what, then?” She asked.

“Of the other’s opinion,” Rowan said, very plainly, “In the scenario where you want to kiss me and you are oblivious but I somehow glean that knowledge, then it could only cause harm if I was uncertain of your intentions or I came to doubt you. In the reverse situation, where one person realizes they want to kiss their friend but their friend is unaware, then the real dilemma is likely their uncertainty regarding their friend’s feelings or how they might react to the idea. In either case, if they were to openly discuss the matter then the uncertainty would be resolved and there would be no harm in having that information.”

“Not true.” Bel leaned onto her palm, her balance shifting forward over the charts. “If the truth turns out to be painful, that is if I wanted to kiss you and you were appalled at the thought, then certainty wouldn’t help either of us.”

Rowan answered right away, reckless and oblivious. “Well yes, though it’s hardly possible that I’d ever find the thought appalling. In fact…”

The meaning of her words settled in as soon as she took a breath. A moment before she was prepared to chase this theory to its ends, passing this night as she had so many other in idle discussion. Now, after she heard those words from her own lips, theory was the furthest thing from Rowan’s mind.

“I have the suspicion,” Rowan said, smiling slightly, “that you weren’t being entirely rhetorical just now.”

Bel kept her jaw set, the firelight flickering on her neck. “Neither were you.”

“I see.” Rowan’s shoulders relaxed and she breathed deep. “If we’re both clear on that, then, would you like to test the notion that certainty would remove the danger of that sort of information?

Moving swiftly over Rowan’s charts, Bel reached up to set a hand behind Rowan’s neck and Rowan slid her fingers over Bel’s shoulder, and the two of them tested the notion thoroughly.


End file.
